Oh, Dear. A New Year.

Well, here we are in a new year. Hello, new year. What do you have in store? This is a question I now ask with more trepidation than in former times. 2020, pandemic. 2021, Paul had cancer. 2022, well, it's not my story but someone I love dearly has been unwell for several years, and this last year finally got a partial diagnosis and many trial medications, most of which have had dire side effects. It has been brutal for them, and by extension, me because of my involvement in their life. I went to therapy for the first time ever. I never ask for help! That is one of the reasons I had to go to therapy, to realise it is okay to ask for help. The reason it took so long for me to go to therapy is that I didn't think I deserved to go to therapy, because there are so many other people out there who need help more than me. Hahahahaha... ugh. 

Honestly, I do not have high hopes for 2023. Health problems of my beloved family member are ongoing. There are numbers of scary problems on the horizon, all of which require me to interact with government departments and deal with bureaucracy and call people on the actual telephone. I might die. 

Okay, I probably won't die.

I decided to come up with a plan for some happiness for 2023. I am going to go out into the garden every day and make it beautiful. Every day I will go to work, I will take care of my beloved family member and do all the scary bureaucratic chores that come with the caretaking, and then I will disappear into the garden and into my world of flowers and bees, and everything else in life will be absolutely optional. I have decided I am too old and tired to care about doing the right thing, being sociable, keeping up with any Joneses that might be lurking about or feeling that I have to look nice or be nice, or eat properly or be productive in any traditional sense, or do any of the 'shoulds' that get shouted at us via the media. I am done.

There is a lot of freedom in announcing this. And glee.

One of the first things I decided was optional was Christmas. I have cancelled Christmas before, and this year I did it again, because sometimes you have to try a thing a few times to see whether you really like it. This year was hard core. Zero Christmas decorations. No Christmas carols. No Christmas baking, or even cooking. There were some presents, in a very low-key way. And there was food! But I didn't make it, which is the best kind of food, in my opinion. On Christmas Eve Rosy dropped by with a lot of leftovers from the cafe she works at, then she came back on Christmas Day and we ate cafe leftovers when we felt hungry, and Red played with the cat while Rosy and I took turns lying in the hammock reading library books. I maxed out my library card the week before, because I Am Prepared. Well, mostly only prepared in situations that require quality reading matter, but at least I'm prepared for something. So Red and Rosy and I had a very calm Christmas Day and on Boxing Day we got together with my parents and we ate sandwiches and cake. So that was nice. On New Year's Eve Rosy and I climbed onto the roof to watch the early fireworks at half past nine. That was also fun. Then I was woken from a deep sleep by the midnight fireworks, Rosy having been long gone into town. I am the person who sleeps through New Year's Eve celebrations now. 

So, a report on today's gardening. I planted three beautiful native grasses in the front garden earlier this year. It is going to be the dry garden that doesn't need watering, and poa grasses are super tough. But I didn't factor in their final size, which is a mistake I make all the time. They are so beautiful, like a small prairie, and I love them with their silvery feather heads, but it is difficult to walk down the front stairs, and down the path to the front door, so today I pruned them. They look sad and diminished, but I now have a front path. Shall I take them out altogether? I may have to, because it's going to keep on happening, year by year. Sad face. However, this does mean that I will get to plant new things, so not a complete loss. I also did a lot of weeding in the garden, and pruning the bushes I like to keep round. Except I am not great at doing round. They often come out wonky, or square. However, I have fun trying. 

Before

After

I am loving the kangaroo paws that I planted recently, against this native pelargonium. Very festive, the only Christmas decorations here at Chez Blueday.

There we are: Gardening, Day 1 for 2023. This does not mean, of course, that I am going to post every day about the garden. Hahaha. No. No promises. I won't garden every day either, if I don't feel like it. This is not the New Year's resolution. The New Year's resolution is doing the things I need to do, and then doing the things that make my heart happy, and ignoring everything else. Because in the end, nothing else really matters.

Tell me about your plans for this year. What will make your heart sing in 2023?