Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thursday Notes





Email to the Universe:

Subject: Re the dead bird in the pool filter.

Please explain.

Regards,

Jo


***

Text from The Boy:

Hi Mum, is it OK to vacuum the sheets instead of washing them?


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Letter #1 to the RSPCA:

Dear RSPCA people,

I know you mean well, but please stop putting pictures of cute puppies on your website. The constant whining and pleading that fills the house is making me tired, and also, we don't have a fence on one side of the house because the builder has been 'busy' for nine months, so we can't possibly get a dog.
Thank you for your co-operation in this matter,

Jo

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Letter #2 to the RSPCA:

Dear RSPCA people,

Well, that wasn't fair, was it, posting that photo of the dog with the eyebrows? You knew I couldn't withstand the pleading, but you did it anyway, and you knew all about the fence situation, but you made me do it, driving the girls to the pound, 'just to look'. Oh, yes, all that innocent advertising about 'all creatures great and small' indeed, but WHAT ABOUT THE MOTHERS?

Yes, you know, the one who will end up doing all the work. I have a very bad feeling about this, and I am blaming you.

Yours sincerely,

The Mother Who Will Be Doing All The Work


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Text #1 to Builder:

I know you are extremely busy, but there is a puppy emergency, and we need a fence ASAP or the poor puppy will be trapped at the pound, and there are children who are pining.. Thx


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Text #2 to Builder:

I know that it has just recently been Armistice Day, and I realise that you are keen to share your love of military history, and I concede that it is very educational, but I must insist that your transformation of my back yard into a replica of a WWI battlefield is possibly a misplaced enthusiasm. The children are now quite conversant with the slit trench, the redoubt, and the excellent reconstruction of the battle at Hill 60, and I would request that you return it to a state more resembling a suburban backyard than a campaign in the Somme. Thx.


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14 comments:

lucindasans said...

You are too funny.

And too soft!

missmaudy said...

It was the smudged eyeliner that got me. You're not alone.

Jo said...

Soft, yes, guilty as charged:) And guess what, as of 6.32pm this evening, I discovered a baby budgie will be joining our happy menagerie.. tomorrow. I am a lucky mummy.

anexactinglife.com said...

Will that be a wee budgie in addition to or instead of a puppy!

Jo said...

In addition to, Dar. It really will be a menagerie..

Lynda D said...

Love the format of your post. Too Funny. Im waiting for our puppy to be not a puppy. I cant keep up with her energy.

Jo said...

Well, this 'puppy' is 18 months old. I know nothing about dogs. Is he still a puppy? We still call our 4yo cats 'kittens' because they are cute and fluffy, so I expect 'puppy' will get the same treatment.

The dog expert here is Rosy, who has read everything on the internet about dog training. Plus, we have diligently been watching 'It's Me or the Dog'. I have a sinking feeling that this preparation may not be enough, in the same way that I was thoroughly unprepared for parenthood by reading a few books..

Bek said...

Gahahaha! Thank you Jo for brightening up my otherwise tiring and sad Friday afternoon. You will be doing all the work, but at least you get to look at puppy dog eyes while you do it. :)

theroadtoserendipity said...

Oh I don't know...the pup is going to love all of that dirt to play in, pre-dug so no need to get your paws dirty. The builder might just be doing you a favour as now the pup doesn't need to learn to dig, it's all pre-done. Earl sends hugs to the new pup ;)

Jo said...

Well, today we have a baby budgie to play with, which is a wonderful time waster I must say. If only the dog is this easy. Huh!

Benson the no-doubt naughty puppy will be another week away we think.. now if only we can persuade the cats not to eat the budgie..

e / dig in hobart said...

darling, you need a national magazine column. the australian woman's weekly at the very least.

Jo said...

Ooh, e, yes, I absolutely do:)

Aly said...

Ha ha ha...! You're a softy Joey. We knew the girls would get a puppy! I could send over my big fat Boscorelli (we still call him a kitten, even though he currently weighs in at 10kg, but in our defence the vet said he is not fat, just the biggest cat she has ever seen, and obviously the father was a wild tiger escaped from the jungle!) to play with Benson!

Jo said...

Aly, I would love to see the outcome of your cat meeting our dog. It would be epic.

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