In Other News, It is Spring

I return. I have been in a slump. Getting dressed seems unbearably difficult most days, and yet, somehow I do get dressed. I make the dinner, I do the dishes, I go for walks, I see friends, I go to work. It all feels like walking through treacle. 

Paul's chemo treatments continue. He is half way through his treatment. His dosages have been dropped as far as they can be, and yet he is still suffering from colitis for one week of his two week gap between treatments. The difference now is that his pain meds have been worked out very well, and so he is getting sleep and is able to eat. He has discovered that he is in just as much pain whatever he eats, so now he eats everything, which has made a real difference to his weight, and that is a positive thing. And Paul is still positive, working on his good days, and full of plans for the house he wants to build. We are planning the new vegie garden up on the mountain, and I am planting seeds for it, which means it will need to be ready in a few weeks. That is exciting and challenging.

In other news - it is spring! The garden is drowning under weeds, but there are daffodils. And a cat.

Polly is very cross because Red adopted a new cat. Whenever Red lets Simon-the-new-cat out of the attic to roam around the house Polly growls at him and promptly leaves to go and sulk in the garden. This morning, after the growling and leaving temper tantrum I opened the back door to find a message from Polly - half a dead mouse on the back verandah. I figure that is the cat equivalent of throwing a dead horse's head on the front lawn. I have been duly warned..

Here is the new kitten. He is six months old and his name is Simon. He lives in the attic with Red. He is a small and skinny cat, but when he wakes up to play at two in the morning, he tramples loudly over my ceiling like a herd of water buffalo. Occasionally there is a crash when Simon decides there are too many potted plants on the shelf.. I have several plants downstairs now that I am nursing back to health..

The gifts of spring bring me daily delight. The one advantage of feeling like I am walking through treacle is that pleasures slow down as well. I can sit and stare at a vase of blossom..

And gaze for ages at the afternoon sunlight beaming in through the window.

In absolutely other news, I thought our dog lead was maroon, but Red washed it and it turns out it's bright red. Now I am looking suspiciously at the dingy brown colour of my cushion covers.. I think spring magic is getting to me.


Jo said…
Hello all, I just want to say a big thank you to those who have sent me kind and concerned messages over the past couple of months that I have not been posting. I appreciate the love and kindness so much xx
GretchenJoanna said…
I am so glad that springtime is working magic on you, you got through winter and survived; you can still write with hope about beautiful and lovable things (and creatures) in your world. Getting that garden going will be the most healing and energizing thing!

simplelife said…
Oh Jo, how lovely it is to hear from you. I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time, I am glad to hear that Paul is doing okay. It's so very hard watching someone you love suffer and struggle and knowing you can't fix the situation.
My garden, such that it is looks very similar to yours. Thank goodness for daffodils and forget-me-nots, they hid a multitude of neglect.
Loved the dog lead story, even better than getting a new one.
Life is A LOT right now, I think sitting and watching sunbeams and blossoms is enough.
thanks so much for the update,
cheers kate
Deborah said…

So lovely to read your blog and find out how Paul's treatment is progressing. Difficult times but isn't it wonderful he is looking to the future and planning a house?

I hope you are sleeping, too, as I know how the mind can go haywire when you lie down and all sorts of frightening thoughts appear. Much better to sit in gentle awe and admire the wonderful things happening in nature.

My garden is bursting with spring enthusiasm and an overwhelming amount of weeds after the wettest winter in WA for years. My rununculus crop is amazing.

Wishing you both all the best,

Anonymous said…
So glad to see your update, and know of Paul's optimism despite the difficulties of his treatment.
As usual, your sense of humor comes through, even though your spirit is heavy. I hope soon this heaviness is transformed into lightness as you and Paul plant the garden, gaze up at the stars up in the mountain, and revel in the beauty around you.
Sending you much love,
Jo said…
Gretchen Joanna, yes I am so pleased to see the back of winter, for my sake and Paul's. Winter is not kind to the cold sensitivity that comes with the chemo. Also, everything about more sunshine and flowers is a joy:)

Kate, yeah, forget-me-nots and daffodils make everything look cheerful, even the weeds. I would like to fix everything for everyone, but instead I will enjoy the spring flowers.

Deborah, ranunculas are the best! So good to focus on them instead of the weeds. I am very lucky to be a good sleeper. I do admit to waking at dawn with cat and being unable to get to sleep again most days, so I am getting used to being an early to rise person so I don't lie there worrying..

Patricia, we have much to be grateful for, and the wonders of spring are definitely doing it for me:)

Treaders said…
I'm so glad to see your new post and to hear that Paul is making good progress - even though it seems like such a helluva long time. He's a brave man! And I hope he's not jealous of Simon because he sure is handsome!
Penelope P. said…
It is lovely to read your post. I have been checking quite often. So challenging for you both, but you’re evidently doing a good job of getting through it, even though I’m absolutely sure it doesn’t always feel like it! Sending you lots of love Pennyx
Linda F said…
Dear Jo, your return is so welcome. I too, have been thinking of you often, and hoping all was well with you and with Paul. Sometimes all we can to is to keep trudging on, and try to take comfort in the little things.
You might feel you have been neglecting your garden, but it looks quite beautiful in these photos, and the indoor plant recovery ward is very lovely too. The onset of spring is always so welcome, and gives us all a little boost to the spirit, I think.
Your Polly sounds very like our old cat, also Polly - the bossiest little madam ever!
Keep looking forward to better times ahead.
Love, Linda in NZ

Mary said…
Lovely to hear from you! Daffodils and a new cat! And while you're sliding into spring and a new garden, I'm so looking forward to my favorite time of year - autumn. Lots of good wishes for you and Paul.
Jo said…
Anna, yes, Paul is brave and Simon is handsome. We have very superior males around here..

Penny, it feels very slow, and we both have our bad days and good days!! Paul is doing so well though, working out how each cycle goes now, and which are the days when he needs to be prepared to do absolutely nothing, and which days he can power through. 3 months to go..

Linda, maybe I will take some photos of the the parts of the garden that aren't featuring daffodils and forget-me-nots.. never mind, I am concentrating on the pretty spots, and pretending the rest isn't there:)

Mary, autumn is also my favourite. I don't mind the cold so much, although I am enjoying spring sunshine, but I absolutely love crisp autumn days at the end of a long, hot summer (well, as hot as it gets here in Tasmania..) Enjoy!

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