Please don't balance the guinea pig on a cushion on your head, darling.
Darling, I don't think it's very kind to make the guinea pig do musical cabaret numbers, even if he does have perfect little jazz hands.
No, I don't think the guinea pig really wants a comb-over, either.
Let this serve as a warning for anyone else wanting us to pet-sit, here at Chez Blueday...
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